i woke up to the snow falling. So beautiful and peaceful while my 100 pound Bouvier snored away. She lifted her head to look at me with this look of why are you waking me up and promptly went back to sleep. The smell of coffee brewing and the knowledge that this day would bring the reminder of 65 years of love felt so good. Love of self, my parents, my friends, my children and grandchildren, and community plus all others that have been part of my life's journey fills me with gratitude. And of course, the Hallmark Channel has so many great romantic movies to celebrate Valentine's Day.
The Pandemic has us changing how we celebrate this day with loved ones. Cooking together rather than going out and lots of Zooming...LOL! The celebration for me is that I finally realized that I am my best partner and no longer required an outside person to bring that. I ran the same women's codes of believing I needed a man to complete me that my mother and ancestry ran that date all the way back to the ostracizing of Lilith the first woman archetype over 6000 years ago when the Patriarchal power over paradigm began. Once I had cleared those out of my unconscious programming I finally came into my sovereignty of wholeness and completeness of ME! Complete and whole with just me. The feeling that I no longer was missing my other half was empowering to say the least. I am not saying that having an empowered loving partner isn't wonderful but for me I always placed myself in that position of power over that I felt I had to run from eventually. Well except for Jimmy as he never gave me a reason to run!! 17 years of unconventional love and why it lasted I imagine. He never wanted to own me. He knew he would hold my heart as I revolved and evolved around him as my sold rock. "I'll take a ticket on you kid" "I love you". My fav words from him.
I have such admiration for those couples that have created and maintained loving partnerships with their most compatible soul mates for the long term. It is incredible and I celebrate those unions. But for me today and everyday is a celebration that I finally have that peace within that wholeness brings...No more questions, just the understanding that everything is perfect as it is and so it is!
Wishing you all love and gratitude everyday!
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