So Wednesday after a year-long wait I had a 4-hour session with the team that specializes in functional neurological disorder. Grief caused the glitch in the neuron pathways to my legs. I am beyond grateful to Dr. Howard for being able to quickly razor into me and see what had happened. In all my years of work on myself grief was never a word or thought that came into clearing pain and trauma. After our session, I sat in meditation and was overwhelmed by this mile-long glass wall holding back this black, roiling, boiling seawater of grief...I sat examining the wall for cracks or leaks and I could feel if there was a crack and it went this grief would drown me.
I was explaining to a friend what happened and she said to put on a life preserver just in case and it will pop you up so you can breathe. So on it went energetically but the wall is solid which is good in one sense but not in another as it was built to assure through the grief I could compartmentalize it and function. I am in gratitude to the Creator for all the work I have undertaken through the years to release so much as after the extensive trauma that began three years ago there is no doubt that I would not have survived in such good health. But this trauma was so overwhelming that once the power over shifted into empowerment to me that my neuron pathways to my legs were interrupted. Like a fuse being blown slowly fritzing putting down into a wheelchair. f
The good news is that I have always known I will recover 100% once we could find the actual cause of the disruption and Dr. Howard confirmed that. He said the only people that don't recover from FND are those that deny the psychological causative factor. But oh dear God it is a huge job to break this grief down into doable releasable chunks without the overload. That process starts Monday with a clinical psychologist Dr. Howard recommended. So I will keep you posted. I tell you all this so you understand the importance of clearing out trauma, pain, and grief so that it does not morph into illness or functional disorders as I am experiencing. FND is a mental health condition, not a mental illness, and is completely reversible over time with the right support. It is so important that you understand the importance of your nervous system in your overall health and that you work to assure your health care strategies are holistic embodying body, mind, and soul.
Tons of love, blessings, and gratitude